Lyka’s Letters

If found, please return to: no one, if found please burn this notebook as soon as you can do with it whatever you please.

 

Dear future me - written 2/14/2452

Today, I arrived at a strange house. The walls are entirely made of polished quartz blocks and candles hang from the high ceilings like stars in the midnight sky, like God fancied himself a game of cat’s cradle. It’s fascinating how a single flicker of light both defies and defines the dark. The light doesn’t seem to reach all the corners of this house. Maybe there isn’t enough stuff to fill up the hollow space. The head of the house seems to be a very powerful Sentinel since he has so many servants. Or at least that’s what I thought until I met the man. He seemed very sickly, and he stayed in bed throughout my entire visit to his bedroom. He had little to no aura, let alone a commanding one. On a positive note, I think I’m becoming a better bloodbender. After my session with the Sentinel today, he was able to sit up in bed instead of just laying down. If I keep making progress, maybe one day he will be cured and I can see mom again. Then again, they might free Janus instead, in which case I’ll tell the guards to throw him back in. No father of mine would leave his family for another woman’s child simply because the other woman’s baby “needed him more.” If he thought he could just leave me and mom by ourselves for all those years, then he can figure a way out of Tartarus by himself. Perhaps if I could run away, just get beyond the park on the corner of the street and cross the gates out of Elysium, then I could be free. This hope is a funny thing. I envision a brighter future, which kindles a fire of hope in my heart, but this hope allows my mind to stay complacent.  Anyways, I better go before the guards find me writing, I don’t want to be hanged in the middle of central park.

Talk to you soon,

Lyka

 

Dear future me - written 2/20/2452

The Sentinel took his first steps today. He typically doesn't talk much during healing sessions but today he mentioned that he would like to go for a walk around the halls. With all the focus and precision I could muster, I guided him down the still halls, careful not to accidentally burst a blood vessel. Pema, the kitchen maid, told me that another Sage will be arriving soon so help speed up the Sentinel’s progress. Hopefully they’re a good blood-bender, all these healing sessions require a lot of concentration and I get tired pretty quickly. How did the doctors do this all day? Then again it’s not like I have anything better to do all day. If I step even a foot out of the Sentinel’s property, the guards are free to hit and hurt me however they like. Why do they get to beat me when they’ve got nothing special? I wish I could just bloodbend their hands away from me, just once, but I can’t risk them doing anything to mom. She’s not a blood-bender, I can only hope they’re treating her ok in Tartarus, she was never part of the resistance after all. I try not to think about the bad things these days. I find that they only make me feel worse. According to the doctors, my feelings are going to get more complicated these next few years. Maybe that’s how grownups come up with all these complicated problems. They have complicated feelings. I hope that when I become an adult, I can have simple problems and resolve them by myself.

See you later,

Lyka

 

Dear future me - 2/22/2452

Today I feel blue. No that I can see blue. I’d like to think this is what blue feels like. A Sage’s world is black and white, or so I’ve been told. I wouldn’t know. Mom told me that once, there were colors in everything and people used them to describe how they felt. What a strange world this place used to be. In other news, the new Sage arrived today, his name is Kerei. He can’t remember how old he is but based off height, I think he’s quite a bit younger than me. I don’t blame him for not remembering, I wouldn’t even remember my own name had I not been writing in this diary. When he introduced himself, he didn’t tell anyone his last name, perhaps his parents were part of the resistance. He seems to be a beginner blood-bender. He won’t stop fidgeting. He also had a hard time guiding the mice out of the kitchen and accidentally killed one of them. Pema smacked him for getting blood all over her freshly cleaned kitchen tiles. For once, I’m grateful that I had plenty of mice to practice on in my kitchen at my old home. This must be his first Sentinel as well since after his healing session, he asked me why we must help this “random old dying man who took away our parents.” Rather silly question if I do say so myself. I explained that if this dying old man gets better from our healing within a year, we get to see our parents again. He then asked if the Sentinel knew which cells in Tartarus our parents were being held in. Of course he knows, how else will the guards free our parents after he gets better? The naivety of young children is beyond me. I just hope the Sentinel gets better within a year.

Good night,

Lyka

 

Dear future me - 3/4/2452

I should have noticed sooner. I should have noticed how Kerei said “our parents.” He was the child Janus left my mom and I for. Part of me wants to be mad at him. He’s the reason why mom was miserable. He’s the reason mom couldn’t afford to flee before the crackdown. However, another part of me recognizes that there’s no use fighting him right now. If I upset him and he makes a mistake during a healing session to spite me, the Sentinel will get upset and surely have us both recalled. Then I really won’t be able to see mom again. I will attempt to keep my anger at bay until the Sentinel is fully healed. Then I won’t ever have to see him again.

I should practice bloodbending more,

Lyka

 

Dear Lyka,

I’m going to kill the Sentinel. Before that though, I will tell you which cell your mother is being held in. I should be done before dinner today. If all goes well, that will be our last interaction.

Kerei

 

Kerei,

Listen to me now you child. You have no idea what you are doing. How do you plan to get into Tartarus? No one will believe you are of age. No one will believe you are a guard. They will find the Sentinel dead before you can leave this house. You are being reckless and foolish and you will get us both killed. Your bloodbending will be traced back to you and the guards will find you before nightfall. Please stop this immediately and go back to being a healer. That’s what Sages are for and that’s all we’re good for.

Lyka

 

#119. I want to build something that will outlast me. That way I outlive my death. - Kerei (P.S if bloodbending can be traced to me, then you can just leave, play this to your strengths)

 

(11/27/2513) Dear my past self,

Perhaps trying to find beauty in anything is humanity’s greatest flaw. It allows us to remain complacent. It allows us to feel satisfied no matter how little we have. Kerei saw no beauty in his situation. Turns out, his parents were part of the resistance. The irony of the situation still humors me. There I was, lecturing him about being rash right before he held the world in the palm of his hand and forced it to keep spinning, as if he embodied gravity. Kerei had dreams of change, and change he did. The Sentinel in our care was the head of the Council. Now we have medicines and machines to treat sick Homo-Sapiens as Sentinels are now called. No more Sages wasting their lives away helping others. The old world was one of simplicity. Everyone knew what they had to do and how to do it. This new world is so terribly complex. Yet everything feels so natural. Some people reach for the stars while others reach for low-hanging fruit and both those options are ok. The autonomy people possess over themselves opens a myriad of choices that only add to the complexity of life. However, this also feels natural. Perhaps complexity is a natural part of human nature. After all, it is due to this beautifully complex world that I am still here.

 

Afterword

Dear Reader,

Do you live in a complex world? Based on my experience, whenever I feel the complexities of the world wearing me down, I write in this journal since paper always seems to have more patience than people. This journal is dedicated to those who dare. That one-in-a-billion person who forces the world to spin their way. Not everyone can play martyr, otherwise everyone would be dead. We must all pick out battles, some people simply pick larger ones. We all live by our choices, and it is no one’s job to dictate how others should go about their lives. Speaking of which, don’t you have a life to be living? Go on, get busy living. Or dying. Whichever way you see it.

Lyka

 

 

 

Citations

1. “What Does It Take to “Assimilate” in America? (Published 2017).” The New York Times, 2023, www.nytimes.com/2017/08/01/magazine/what-does-it-take-to-assimilate-in-america.html Accessed 10 Feb. 2023.

2. Givhan, Robin. “Dangerous Beauty.” Washington Post, The Washington Post, 18 Oct. 2022, www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/10/18/dangerous-beauty/  Accessed 10 Feb. 2023.

3. ‌Jones, Reuben, and Ryan Chatelain. “Report Finds U.S. Funded over 400 Boarding Schools to Assimilate Indigenous Children.” Ny1.com, Spectrum News NY1, 11 May 2022, www.ny1.com/nyc/all-boroughs/politics/2022/05/11/report-finds-u-s--funded-over-400-boarding-schools-to-assimilate-indigenous-children Accessed 10 Feb. 2023.